Hypocritical Gen-X Gamer Dad

These days, my gaming time is rationed. I’m a husband, a father, gainfully employed, and a part-time writer. I have responsibilities that make it impossible to relive the glory days of my depressed, single, game-obsessed existence. Playing Civilization for 12 straight hours just isn’t an option.

Keeping up with gaming podcasts allows me to stay connected to the culture at large.

Generation Hex

I was seven years old when this model of the console came out (1980). Sometime at the beginning of the 80's, my parents bought one for me and my long slide toward being a gamer had begun

My dad never played video games; it’s a generation thing.

He never had to model proper gaming behavior to his son. What’s more, both my parents had jobs so I had something of a latchkey existence. I could play games as long as I like. Moreover, many parenting experts of the time told everyone to “let your kid do what they want.” A hands-off approach was encouraged.

But my parents can’t be blamed for tacking to the wind; we all do that. Child rearing is a crap-shoot and video games were a part of my peer group’s identity. Parenthood involves a lot of course-correction based on sketchy observations from our own youth.

In spite of near-constant stumbling, I turned out well enough, but I could have been more motivated.  Now, my wife and I exert more controls over our son’s gaming hobby than I ever had.

Happy Balance?

Around '83, I got my first personal computer - a Commodore 64. This was my introduction to typing in BASIC programs from magazines and the wonderful world of BBS'ing.

Many of we Gen-X’ers are raising our kids in a decidedly different way. We’re also tacking to the wind; a hands-on approach is now recommended. One thing is for sure: I’m a goddamn hypocrite.

Heard the term “helicopter parent” lately? Then you already know what I’m talking about. Simply put, since our parents left us to our own devices, we now smother our kids in controlled environments. It’s a broad trend and I’m sure we can all find contemporary anecdotes that contravene the broad strokes. But the pendulum has swung; given enough time, it’ll swing back.

Kids naturally tend toward a fixation on fun, fun, and fun. As our boy grows up, my wife and I are concerned about helping him to cultivate a balanced life. But I have plenty of doubts about how that should be done and whether (and how much) it matters.

We aren’t helicoptering, though. We want our son to have some control over his life. It’s better that he learn how to screw up while we can still help him – at home. Even so, we still tend toward over-protection than under-protection.

Millennial Gaming

Christmas of 1985 found my parents granting my wish: A shiny, new NES. I even had that damned gyroscope-weilding robot that failed as a goofy gaming accessory.

My son still gets a lot more time to game than I do, but nothing like what I was allowed. He won’t be up until midnight on school nights playing MMO’s, but don’t think he’s deprived. For instance, throughout the summer had has had plenty of screen time. I’m kind of jealous, actually.

But it’s that behavior modeling thing again. When an awesome Steam sale hits, I might make a purchase or two, but then they’ll sit in my list for months before I install them. Months after that I’ll boot them up and play them for the first time. I flinch and wait because I remember whose little eyes are watching.

Will my son will learn from my example? Maybe, but probably not. I predict some binging in his future. But as long as he’s living at home, there will be some controls that simply didn’t exist in my youth.

When Gen-X’ers were kids, personal computers were new – as were consoles. We had only begun our crawl toward the internet-infested existence of today. Lonely internet-cafe-going Koreans had barely been born only so they could die at the keyboard from malnutrition.

Before it was Almost Cool

Around the age of 15 or 16 I got an Amiga 500. This cemented my gamer-status. Just as with the C64, it was the post-80's crash era and my love of games hadn't changed a bit.

I have a distant, fuzzy memory of my grandmother bewildered that I’d spend my hard-earned money on a 20MB hard drive. I purchased that rather than buy a car. I was sixteen years old.

Years later, she mentioned that she finally got it. Back when she criticized my purchase, she thought that personal computers were a fad, but I insinuated myself into the workforce without a college degree thanks to that non-fad.

That’s a memory that stuck with me.

The car might have helped my social life (though its doubtful), but the hard drive helped cement me into geekdom. If I could go back and do it over, I’d probably do the same thing.

I’m not sure if there’s a lesson in this. But if there is, it might be that no matter how structured or unstructured our upbringing is, we roll the dice and take our chances. My wife and I will try to provide the right amount of structure – tight in some areas and loose in others. But in the end, I must reckon with my hypocrisy.

Sometimes parenthood is a bitch.