With a few exceptions, the story of my life has been one of instant gratification. Blame society, blame parents, blame myself, blame my own unique cocktail of Reasons. In the end, I’m just lazy, but in a general and common way.
I’m lazy enough to put off what I know will help me today. But I’m not so lazy that I haven’t taken the odd side-class or put genuine effort into learning stuff. Nothing new, there.
I’m sure it’s familiar to many of us. Lately, the thought surfaces because so much of my time has been filled with the structured pursuits of a modern, American father. Unless you’re hanging out at Moe’s Tavern every night, life is very fucking busy. And if you’re hanging at Moe’s, why are you married?
A job became a career. A hobby became a pursuit. And general healthfulness evolved into the focused variety. The question, as always, is how long can I maintain?
The line graph of pursuits over the course of my life swerves up, down, and all around. Consistency has not been my friend. We fight from time to time. It’s a dysfunctional marriage with the part of myself sitting on a beanbag and horking chips in my mouth while Adult Swim is airing content.
But screw that guy. I care more about Future Me. That’s the Me that’s just a dream; an odd idea. I’ve neglected that guy for a while.
On the fitness front, I’ve been using Runkeeper and Fitocracy to keep data in front of my face: this is what you’re doing. Don’t quit this, you lazy ass.
Professionally, my work’s task-lists in front of my face to an insane degree (more on that in the future). I track what’s coming and what I’ve done. Again, it’s as if to say: don’t screw around; look at all that work you did yesterday.
But no pats on the head, yet. Or ever. How much of this is a function of crises-driven life-stage anxiety? Each of us stares into the void differently. Moreso, though, each of us is a different person staring into the void. There are multiples of multiples; plenty of ways to fear, and cope with, the anticlimax at the end.
So I’m perfecting the art of busying myself until that end. I’d like Future Me to look back on Present Me with a little more fondness than I have in the past. That requires tools, bits of inspiration, and well grounded advice you can’t find in a Time fluff piece.
But, if you want to get a firm handle on why it’s so damned hard to reach our dreams, watch this. It’s three and a half minutes long, and beyond educational.
